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Posted on July 17, 2011


I am an asshole.

Sometimes incoherent and prone to idiotic slurs. I scratch myself in inappropriate places, at inappropriate times, around inappropriate people. I feel shaving is a futile effort against protein synthesis, natural enzymes, and a healthy ability to process vitamins.

I’m not going to ever leave the table to powder my nose. I’ll never run late because I had to change my shirt. If I trip, it will for a reason other than the fact my heels are to high. Also, my favorite pair of “spank pants” consist of an old pair of jeans I hacked into shorts with a set of rusty shears.


won’t waste your time pretending,

we both don’t have that kind of time.

I’m full of shit when dressed all pretty,

and much more real all nitty gritty.

I so sorry your luck is shitty,

next time pick the queen named miss kitty.




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